is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
