good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
