Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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