white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
