Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize