i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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