i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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