I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize