I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize