the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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