After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
