We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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