dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
