we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize