I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
