so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize