I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
