What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
