shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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