You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
