There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
