Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
