In the future we'll all be gay
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize