Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
