brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
