Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
