if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
