I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
