pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
