She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
