At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
