I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
