I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
