My brain says no but my pants say off.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
