doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
