Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
