"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
