i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
where are my eyebrows?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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