Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997

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(419): View more from Ohio

You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob

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(817): View more from Texas

I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?

(571): View more from Virginia

That hungover.

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