Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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