you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
