Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
