if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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