Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
