It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
