she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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