I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize