just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
