chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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