thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
