ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize