The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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