I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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