oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
