I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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