I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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