I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
