I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just had sex bonerless
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
