SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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