Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
