When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize