ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
