He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize