Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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