His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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