May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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