sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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