so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
