1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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