Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
