So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
