Apparently you make a good broom.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The Olympian is in my bed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
