Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
