When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
